i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
