I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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