wanna go halves on a baby?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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