Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
