it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just want nice things and good sex
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
