he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
