he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
