I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
