I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
