I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I have aggressive nipples.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize