Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(469): View more from Texas

just do it

(1-469): View more from Texas

fine only cuz shes asian

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good

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(660): View more from Missouri

THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.

(816): View more from Missouri

..So we should take it off Youtube?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.

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(315): View more from New York

when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'

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(936): View more from Texas

Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.

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(206): View more from Washington

before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch

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(352): View more from Florida

So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car

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