fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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