why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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