No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
