I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish I could teleport
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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