Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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