they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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