he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
