so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
