you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
