hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
