Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
