Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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