First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
