Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
