I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
