Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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