haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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