He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
