it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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