bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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