i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
