Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
