So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
