doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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