dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
