I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
