Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Randomize
