I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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