yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
