i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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