this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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