do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
