I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
everyone is single if you try hard enough
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
