i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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