my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize