community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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