i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
