i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
