And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
