hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
