when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
