the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
