No awkward lesbian experiences without me
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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