you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
