Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
