Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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