The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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